1. Once Upon a Time in the West the Gunsmoke
Filled The Big Valley and choked the good folk
On the banks of Red River, and down in El Dorado,
Dodge City, Vera Cruz, and Rio Bravo.
If you were to Ride the High Country the bright moon
Made midnight look like High Noon.
And little boys prayed, “Lord, give me the talents
Of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.”
At the first glimpse of a headdress feather,
The Stagecoach drove Hell Bent for Leather.
And if The Searchers ever found The Desperados,
They’d Hang ‘Em High ‘til their eyes went hollow.
The Misfits came west looking for a new home.
Most of ‘em found one under a Tombstone.
Brave men too. At The Alamo they all died.
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, Rawhide!

Chorus: White hat, black hat, gray for revisionists.
White hat: Quick draw, capable of sentiments.
Black hat: Bad breath, toothless, ruthless.
Gray hat: Got no clue what The Truth is.
White hat: Good to the ladies, sober.
Black hat: Crass and crude, cheats at poker.
Gray hat: tangled in ethical predicaments.
White, black, gray hats, one for any temperament.

2. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: guns ready.
Three way standoff for a plate of spaghetti.
A Dead Man told the Pale Rider, “You need sun,”
A bunch more let The Wild Bunch near a machine gun.
If you were the kind to believe the propaganda,
You went to Paint Your Wagon and set out for the Bonanza
For A Fistful of Dollars or For a Few Dollars More,
Held up the 3:10 to Yuma, all aboard!
There were two kinds of Hombre: The Quick and the Dead
Except F Troop who were just lucky instead.
The Magnificent Seven chose to stand and defy.
They had True Grit just like Samurai.
We are all The Undefeated, while among the living,
But The Way West was littered with the bodies of the Unforgiven.
If you wanna know How the West was Won properly,
You gotta start with The Great Train Robbery.

Chorus: White hat, black hat, gray for revisionists.
White hat: Quick draw, capable of sentiments.
Black hat: Bad breath, toothless, ruthless.
Gray hat: Got no clue what The Truth is.
White hat: Good to the ladies, sober.
Black hat: Crass and crude, cheats at poker.
Gray hat: tangled in ethical predicaments.
White, black, gray hat, one for any temperament.

Bridge: Up stakes, wake snakes (x4).

3. Going out in a hail of bullets, Butch Cassidy
and The Sundance Kid doing it theatrically.
Jeremiah Johnson was the true Maverick.
The Lone Ranger was lonely but masked it.
Zorro did the same except he looked cooler.
Only fools called The Shootist a shooter.
McClintock!, Hondo, good names for males
Unlike The Outlaw Josey Wales.
The Wagon Train was too slow, Death Rides a Horse.
Meet him under The Big Sky, and die, of course.
One small spike in The Gunfighter’s morale,
You get The Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.
A harsh place for My Darling Clementine and her fellow women.
Nevertheless, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon.
People ran to hide when The High Plains Drifter arrived,
No one knows if Shane survived.

Chorus: White hat, black hat, gray for revisionists.
White hat: Quick draw, capable of sentiments.
Black hat: Bad breath, toothless, ruthless.
Gray hat: Got no clue what The Truth is.
White hat: Good to the ladies, sober.
Black hat: Crass and crude, cheats at poker.
Gray hat: tangled in ethical predicaments.
White, black, gray hats, one for any temperament.