1. Hello again, I’m The Mispronouncer.
This is my third record. It’s called The Misnomer.
This song is called “Uncommon Error.”
It’s the very first track, but I wrote it last.

I want to make mistakes you’ve never seen before.
It’s better than being right.
I want to blaze a trail in the wrong direction.
It’s better than being right.
I want to miss the mark and land somewhere new.
I want to botch this beautifully and stick the landing.
I want to screw up, up, and away.
I want to commit an uncommon error.

2. Fortune favors the blessed.
I’m playing my cards well away from the vest.
Moss gathers on these stationary stones,
But show me the stone that can roll on its own.
It’s harder to forgive another boring mistake,
But fresh missteps are riveting the more that you make.
And even if you’re cold, arrogant, and spiteful
You can win me right back if your typo’s delightful.
Only write what you know if you know something worth writing.
I find over-sharing even worse than prying.
This record came together as a loose amalgam.
You should it treat as a choose-your-own-concept album.
Mark the passage of minutes by the number of suckers born.
Old habits don’t die, they just adopt other forms.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to be wrong.
When you’re gone, all your very rarest errors live on.

3. I want to make mistakes you’ve never seen before.
It’s better than being right.
I want to blaze a trail in the wrong direction.
It’s better than being right.
I want to miss the mark and land somewhere new.
I want to botch this beautifully and stick the landing.
I want to screw up, up, and away.
I want to commit an uncommon error.

4. Don’t call one twin by the other twin’s name.
Don’t forget where you last saw your keys.
Don’t assume a baby’s gonna fix your marriage.
Don’t spell “weird” with the “i” before the “e.”
Don’t miss the humor in Moby Dick.
Don’t try to douse a grease fire with water.
Do not choose a melodious alarm.
If whatever you’re creating’s no good, don’t bother.
Don’t keep putting off backing up your files.
Don’t forget to cancel service when the free trial ends.
Don’t go to sleep with your contacts in.
Do not fall in love with a close friend.
Don’t base your position on dubious statistics.
Don’t get too attached to a pet fish.
Don’t unwittingly click “reply to all.”
Don’t plan on getting your wish.

5. No one’s perfect, and most of us are imperfect in the same ways.
No one’s perfect, and most of us are imperfect in the same ways.
No one’s perfect, and most of us are imperfect in the same ways.
Lost in the numbers of identical blunders.
Everybody makes mistakes, how will you get seen in such a crowded field?
Everybody makes mistakes, how will you get seen in such a crowded field?
Everybody makes mistakes, how will you get seen in such a crowded field?
Yours have gotta count, yours have got to stand out. (x2)

6. We hold these truths to be debatable.
Raise your hand if you’re replaceable.
Keep it up, let ‘em make a note.
They’re gonna push this ouster straight to a vote.
And they’ll never notice your maturation
In the face of over-saturation.
Where the blooms are brightest, thorns abound.
I wanna draw your good eye out of the foreground.
Whether you’re defiant or compliant,
If there’s gonna be a free sample, you’ll try it.
The bell tolls less for than about you.
I’m dedicated to whatever I get around to.
Dead canaries on the floor of the cave.
Go no further seeking more to save.
Cast the Devil out of the details.
Either I succeed or we fail.
Enthusiasm is a double-edged sword.
How much blood and sweat can you afford?
It’s all inertia, all momentum.
Can’t kiss your hands if you won’t extend ‘em.
Can’t bite them either. It makes no sense,
Why would you ever choose to take offense?
Started writing songs, aiming for twenty.
Now I got thirty, more than plenty.
When the fever’s up, I just keep producing
‘Til I’m half-buried in a deep profusion
Of songs that beget more songs that beget more songs.
That’s why this album’s so long.
Now let me bring you all to up to date:
Your attention is bound to fluctuate.
You wanna make your own cut? Be my guest.
Only keep the 28 or 29 best.