Intro: Sometimes all you can do is admire
The extent to which what you do backfires.
Good friends cringe and loyal fans boo
So you know it’s going over like a hand in stew.
Whether one’s plunged in or your own’s soaking
Or you dip your spoon and you find one floating.
However you interpret, whatever your view,
Nobody reacts well to a hand in stew.

Chorus: I smell like the flowers that I trampled through.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
I assume you assume I’m the man for you.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
I attempt stunts I know I can’t do.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
One false move and you all act like
A hand in stew just ruined your whole night.

1. Bad news, neat freaks: the world’s not sterile.
Red hourglass tramp stamps: Girls Gone Feral.
Ducking out before the lesson but after refreshments.
Nothing hurts worse than an accurate assessment.
Scene follows scene full of extras and no star.
I am not an actor but I play one in the O.R.
Big talk suffocates stuffed in a small voice.
Snake oil’s my cure-all of choice.
Even through a cloud of cologne, I smell rat.
I had 99 solutions and they all fell flat.
You want a lover with a slow hand? Don’t be a fool.
The lover with the slowest hand loses the duel.
My adult content’s primarily disappointment.
My life raft’s stocked with pop but isn’t buoyant.
This whole endeavor’s gonna be dead soon
If I can’t start moving these lead balloons.

Chorus: I smell like the flowers that I trampled through.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
I assume you assume I’m the man for you.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
I attempt stunts I know I can’t do.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
One false move and you all act like
A hand in stew just ruined your whole night.

2. Am I late to the party or early to the clean-up?
I go the extra mile to avoid a speed bump.
You’re getting agitated when it’s time for your feeding.
Pearls before swine and swine before vegans.
“Love makes fools of us all,” it’s said.
I say, “Fools would make lovers of us all” instead.
After all these years and all that we’ve heard,
What if “the bird” isn’t really the word?
Do “The Back and to the Left,” it’s the hot new move.
If your parents catch wind, beg ’em not to approve.
You’ve gotten too loose, let me teach you how to Douglas.
Holier than thou ’cause a few people dug this.
Or at least they would’ve if they knew how to find this.
Live by the sword, die by the tendonitis.
My battleship sunk ’cause of nothing that you did.
Poorly-received. Here’s looking at you, kid.

Chorus: I smell like the flowers that I trampled through.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
I assume you assume I’m the man for you.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
I attempt stunts I know I can’t do.
How does that go over? Like a hand in stew.
One false move and you all act like
A hand in stew just ruined your whole night.